Reatioships

Realationships-The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

 

Growing up I had a few great relationships, I was close to my grandma April as well as my grandfather. I was a snuggle bug. I loved to cuddle and to be held. I loved it all. All the little kid comfort that you like. Once My grandfather started viable abusing me and my brother left home, my trust went out the window. I don't like having any kind of relationships, I don't want to be close to someone because I'm terrified of them leaving me. Right now I have the perfect opportunity to be in a relationship. My first one ever, and my fear is blocking them with a cage. I actually like someone, and that's rare for me. I hate being labeled and being in a relationship is being labeled. I also don't trust men at all. Because of everything that has happened. I want to be in a relationship, but then I don't. Because I'm afraid of the unknown. I'm 18 And I've finally held hands with someone, and that's letting down a HUGE wall for me. Letting someone get physically close to be with out feeling sick. I need advice from people who have been in the same situation. I feel as if a few people have. I need to trust again. I'm trying, I'm working on it. 

On another note, but it's similar to the writing above..I don't really have relationships with a lot of people, I have 1 best friend. And I'm finally getting the nerve to make new friends. Which is so rare for me as well. I've never been this stable in my life. I don't hate every thing about me. I'm learning to love myself, as well as trying to let people who I love in.