Binging

I am struggling at the moment.. Bad, I can't stop eating... Which is a binge. I can't get a hold of my therapist. I am crying, I am miserable. I want to purge, and I am not going too. Thanks to a girl named Becca who has kept me occupied I am distracted, I am done eating, And I'm going to relax. Have a good cry, and just remember  slip is not a relapse.. That is the one problem I have, If I mess up I feel like I'm in a full relapse. Which I can not afford at all. I am worth recovery, I can not sleep. I have to stick to everything, I have gone over things from the rcc, I have done meditation and yoga.I've looked up quotes, I've talked to 3 people, who mean a lot to me and help me. I am listing to Warrior by demi Lavoto.  It's helping me distract from purging and self harm. Which don't seem to bad, but I can not do it. I have to stay strong, which is so hard for me. But it's hard for everyone who has a mental illness. I leave in a month and I have to stay strong, and continue to be in recovery. I am an athlete n have to continue to be healthy and strong. GOSH I HATE THIS!