Confussed.

Well, I  struggled yet again today, I purged as well as restricted. It makes me feel like a failure, It's so hard, I have had an eating disorder for 3 years almost 4. I can't stand it. I was doing great for a good six months, my therapist and I both agreed to start something knew. Every day I am going to write 3 things I like about my self.  And go on from there, and it can't be, "I'm good at sports". So I have to get in tone with my body and help myself out. I finally admitted on how much I wanted to get better, and she said she was proud of me. When I go there, I FEEL like someone finally understands me and knows what I am going through. Not afraid to give me advice, Someone who can tell me what I'm doing wrong and who can help me in the right foot steps.. My stomach is still swollen and she is trying to call me down, which I am starting to flip even bigger shit because I feel as it is getting a lot bigger, and you can tell. I have to wear bigger clothes. It sucks, because my clothes don't fit, and they were baggy before.. I don't know, I am just rambling on and on, and I Don't even know what to talk about. I can't stop thinking about my stomach. Well, I can't focus, so I am done for a while, I am trying to stay strong..