Therapy twice a week!!!!!!

So, because of my abnormal behavior I am now being told I have to go to therapy twice a week.... Till my attitude improves and my mind set changes. Today right when I awoke my mood was in the dumps, I was depressed. I didn't laugh at work, I didn't talk until I talked to a customer. My boss looked at me and said " I'm leaving for vacation, when I return I want the old Mariah back. I looked at her and said It will be back, It's 2 weeks before I start so my pmdd is starting to act up.  So My attitude is fluctuating. It's really hard for me, I just hope I don't get a freak attitude and my anxiety doesn't go off like it did the last time. I couldn't stop shaking and I could barley breathe,  I really don't want that to happen again. I Hope I'm normal, I want to be happy. For a week I am normal, I am happy. I love life. But when I'm like this I couldn't honestly care less, AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE LIKE THAT! I just want to be normal with this stuff, my stomach is still swollen, and It's bugging the shit out of me. I have a nerology appt on Friday and I'm scared for that. And then I have abother one next friday, I have therapy again I think Friday at like 830 at night. Then again on Monday. Omg, I am soo sick of the doctors, then I have a vet appt on Tuesday. I start a anxiety and depression group on Tuesday. Which I AM thrilled for,I feel as if It will really help me! Which right now I need all the help I can get. I am going to be HAPPY on my grad party day! I have to be. I am going to ceder point this sunday with Frank and my cousin and aunt. Can't wait! I will be happy that day!!!! I wrote another poem.

The weather is Bi-polar, it has it's up and downs, it can be depressing it can be enjoyable. But it's what you make out of it. You can choose to embrace it or you can choose to make the worse out of it. Why make the worse when you can shine like a star. Don't be like the weather actual try, fight against the odds. Be bright and sunny even when your feeling down and gloomy.

It's not the best poem I have written, but It's something, and It means a lot to me!