Anxiety at an all time HIGH!

My mind has been rambling on and on lately. I'm trying to slow it down to get one story out, but then it rushes to the next subject. This is due to my anxiety. It has been at an all time high lately When I mean high I mean, I haven't been able to function normally. Hurting myself was popping up in my mind, so I could focus or feel something else. But I am 3 months and 14 days strong with no self harm, and I plan on making it longer. Due to my high anxiety I've had therapy twice this week!!!! That's how bad it is. It can run your life, for some it does, and mine is trying.. I mean really trying, it's like screaming in my head, I'm shaking, I am mumbling my words, I walk and it's not in a straight line. It's insane, I thought my anxiety was high before, DAMN! was I way wrong. I never thought my anxiety would make me feel paralyzed. I can only say it's worse when my PMDD reacts with it. Which sucks once a month. Because Not only do I not feel good, but I also have different symptoms then most. As I sit here and I am writing this my anxiety is high. I'm switching between here and Facebook because I can't focus. I write these blogs, for myself and my therapist. To try and distract myself, to focus on getting better. When I write these I go back and I read them to see if I have made progress week to week. I've noticed in the past week I've decreased, I went from POSITIVE POLLY, to NEGATIVE NANCY. I was doing very well and was on top of the world. Then in a blink of an Eye I felt like everything was crashing at once. 

Today, I had my graduation farwell assembely. I was awarded a scholarship for changing lives, it was awarded to me because I managed to pass while missing six months of my senior year. It made me realize even with my eating disorder and my severe depresion and anxiety and PMDD that I can come out on top. I just have to continue fighting this long, shaking battle that goes on within my mind and body everyday.