Stepping out of your comfort zone!

So my cousin is too young to understand what's wrong with me, But she still didn't hold back her advice. A few day's ago I had a reality check. She said " You say don't judge others, but why do you always judge yourself. When I heard that come out from an 11 year olds mouth I was shocked and was like wow. 

I went up north for the past 2 days, I had planned on eating very little and purging if I did. But guess what this girl did? She fought against her self. She ate a shit ton of candy, pizza, EVEN WENT TO 2 RESTAURANTS.  Which is all out of my comfort zone. But I did do it anyways. I didn't swim with clothes on beside of course my bathing suit. Cause that would be awkward :0.. Lol, but I did well, and I took advice from my therapist. I even had MARSHMALLOWS! lol. This may not seem like a big deal to any of you, but when you struggle with an ED you don't want to swim cause you feel ugly, nasty, E.T.C. But still. I even went with my boyfriend and I still stepped out of my comfort zone, and splurged in food, and didn't wear a shit ton of clothes while swimming. Going out of town with your best friends and bf is a HUGE step for me, I don't even like being out of my room. But hey If I want RECOVERY this is what I have to do. I have to step out of my comfort zone. I literally just didn't care this weekend. I don't know what was different, but it felt like I was actually happy. I had a reality check there as well. Everyone said I zone out a lot, and then I become depressed. I realize when I do that I go to my ED thoughts, and I'm consumed in them and  I just don't know what to do.  I only snap out because people call my name. It's happened once! So You know that's progress! Another note I am going out AGAIN tonight. Stepping out AGAIN! I am on fire these past 3 days.  Today has been a struggle.

BUT HEY WHO SAID RECOVERY WAS GONNA BE EASY!